An open letter to my father, the first person to break my heart

Dear father, the first person to break my heart,

First and foremost, I’d like to thank you. 
The pain that you inflicted upon me earlier in life led me to grow into a strong woman. 

The first time I fell in love, I was already fluent in heartbreak. The way sobs rolled from my tongue was an all too familiar memory, so I handled it exceptionally well when she used and abused me. You taught me to recognise when I was not wanted, so I walked away.
See, at such a meagre age, you didn’t give me that option. You had me gazing lovingly at my very own father figure, just to be tossed far away. 

You’re lucky that my mother was fluent in heartbreak too. She’d had it harder than you could ever imagine, and she still played the hell out of the role of both parental figures, meanwhile you played none. All respect I had for you, I bestowed upon her. She has been my warm embrace, my knight in shining armour, my most frivolous laughter. She’s twice the father you could ever be. I thank you for giving her that strength.  
Right now, I’m in love again. I know you’d be disappointed to hear that. You couldn’t have cared less for me, yet you still wanted to chase boys away – left, right, and centre. Now, if I’m honest, it took me a long time to learn to love and to trust again, and I know that you’re to blame for that, but I’m happy now. You taught me how to look out for the warning signs, and for once in my life, I’m so god damn happy, I could hug you, and maybe even send this to you as a thank you note in calligraphic ink, on decorated paper, in an elegantly designed envelope – but I won’t.
Thank you for breaking my heart before anybody else could. I now know what to look out for, and in whom I should place my trust. 
And finally, I feel safe. 
Have a good life. 
I hope you regret losing me every day.


Dear Birch

“Stop everything! It’s snowing”, squeaked the birch to the vast, naked oak as icy flakes fluttered slowly – down, down, down, to the lightly dusted ground.  Snow had been long overdue. Tiny tips of green had already begun to sprout from the very ends of the birch’s branches as winter drew to a pass. The oak gently shuddered and dipped its limbs to allow the snow to slip off the ends.

“It isn’t as if I can do anything but stand here anyway, dear, birch. My growth slows in the cold.”

The birch didn’t seem to hear much, too excited by the snowfall to listen. Oak didn’t mind too much, however. It was quite content watching the younger tree as it trembled every time the crisp wind licked its crusty, season-beaten bark.

“Be careful that you don’t get sick this year, birch. It would be an awful shame if you lost another branch.” Oak tenderly nudged at birch, being careful not to injure any more of its branches. The oak was much older than the birch, and therefore much stronger. Last winter was particularly nasty and the branches in the crown of the birch had been battered by the bluster. If the birch didn’t allow itself to slow, oak feared that it might fall victim to the same fate again this year.

As days passed, the sun started to rise earlier in the morning, but the snow continued mercilessly. Most nearby trees went into complete hibernation, waking only to soak in sunlight before drifting back into a warm slumber. The oak wistfully wished for enough sleep to last this final winter’s month, but decided against it, thinking it best to keep an eye on its ever-excitable best friend. Whenever the wind picked up, the oak allowed its thick branches to prop up the birch to keep it just as strong. Only sometimes, it wasn’t nearly enough. Several twigs had already fallen to the ground from birch’s dying branches.

Only a few days left to go
, thought the oak tree. Several of birch’s branches had begun to nestle again the oak’s own, but by now, the oak had sprouted just enough leaves to keep birch’s broken branches warm until it had enough strength to stand on its own again. Every day for the past month, the birch had woken the oak with the same gleeful exclamation about the snow; oak found this endearing, and warned birch to be careful each time, just as it did the first time it had awoken to the snowfall. However, this day was different. The birch hummed in contentment as the last snowflake fell to the ground, yawning immediately after. It seemed as if the birch had tired itself out in time for spring, where the oak was happy to help the birch grow its leaves again.

The birch slowly straightened as the days grew warmer, mumbling blissfully between yawns to the oak.

“Be careful that you don’t get burnt this year, oak. It would be an awful shame if you lost another branch.”


An introduction

    At a meagre four years old, my mum decided that I was some kind of writing prodigy for no other reason than knowing how to spell the word “decide”. I had written a short story about a duck that decided to dress up as a swan. She even showed off to my grandma, wondering which side of the family I inherited my apparent “impeccable smarts” from. I thought – with the limited logical judgment I had at that age – that she was being silly, of course. However, I never lost my love for reading and writing. I like to think that I have a good relationship with words and the way that they can be strung together in so many different ways. I still think my mum was being silly, but my passion for writing still burns strongly.

    Eighteen years later, and it only made sense to make a blog.

So allow me to introduce myself –


I’m Sharna, and I’m a 22-year-old cat mum, student, and a beginning freelancer. I live in London, UK, with my mother and two cats. It’s just us; I like it that way.
I’ve always been something of a wanderer, having been raised in the countryside and promptly finding myself longing for the bustle of the city.
I’m a big fan of video games, aiming to someday pen one – or more (aspiring developers, feel free to hit me up!) someday. More recently, Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts have won my heart. 

    I intend to write (hopefully quite regularly!) about many different things here; games, books, love, life, travel, mental health, various franchises that perk my interest – anything that draws a twinkle of passion in me. Most of all, I intend to write to connect with you lovely people out there as I learn to steer the reins of blog writing!